conversations with challenging parents |
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what is a 'challenging parent'?
> Any occasion where a parent is angry, lost their temper, shouts, swears
> A parent who does not support the school and/or teacher
> A parents who frequently challenges staff decisions
> A parent who does not support staff/school decisions
> A parent who encourages their child to defy school rules/decision
> When a parent makes unreasonable demands of staff/school
> A parent who does not support the school and/or teacher
> A parents who frequently challenges staff decisions
> A parent who does not support staff/school decisions
> A parent who encourages their child to defy school rules/decision
> When a parent makes unreasonable demands of staff/school
why do some parents become challenging?
They are unreasonable
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Everything in-between
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The school has made a mistake
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when are you likely to encounter a challenging parent?
> At any time, often when you least expect it!
> Via emails and phone calls
> Any open events at the school, including parents evenings
> When you receive a call from the office letting you know a parents wants to see you
> Via emails and phone calls
> Any open events at the school, including parents evenings
> When you receive a call from the office letting you know a parents wants to see you
how do you avoid challenging parents?
> All staff working in a school will need to deal with challenging parents from time to time
> We can neither predict the cause nor avoid the situation
> It is the responsibility of all staff working in a school to manage challenging parents when we encounter them
> It is the responsibility of all staff working in a school to prepare themselves to manage challenging parents should they encounter any
> We can neither predict the cause nor avoid the situation
> It is the responsibility of all staff working in a school to manage challenging parents when we encounter them
> It is the responsibility of all staff working in a school to prepare themselves to manage challenging parents should they encounter any
Strategies for managing challenging parents
> Assess the situation and determine if you are able to deal with it or if you require support
> Use delay tactics if necessary, for example, to seek support, to find out more about a situation, to mentally prepare yourself
> Guard yourself emotionally, this is a professional situation so don't take it personally
> Listen if you are able, try to pick out the underlying cause asking questions when appropriate
> Take responsibility for resolving the situation, giving assurances that you will follow up/act as point of contact
> You may need to be a politician with your answers, using phrases like 'that doesn't sound right' etc.
> Ensure you follow up with email, calls, meetings, records (e.g. SIMS)
> Remember, regardless of the situation you are trying to create a win-win not win-lose
> Use delay tactics if necessary, for example, to seek support, to find out more about a situation, to mentally prepare yourself
> Guard yourself emotionally, this is a professional situation so don't take it personally
> Listen if you are able, try to pick out the underlying cause asking questions when appropriate
> Take responsibility for resolving the situation, giving assurances that you will follow up/act as point of contact
> You may need to be a politician with your answers, using phrases like 'that doesn't sound right' etc.
> Ensure you follow up with email, calls, meetings, records (e.g. SIMS)
> Remember, regardless of the situation you are trying to create a win-win not win-lose
what are the classic errors?
> Avoiding a parent you suspect will be challenging in the hope they will go away
> Engaging in a challenging conversation without necessary support or information
> Siding with a parent to appease them
> Attributing blame to any party at this stage
> Letting your own emotions get the better of you
> Not giving the parent the opportunity to talk/not listening to the parent
> Promising something you cant deliver
> Not following up (in a timely manner)
> Engaging in a challenging conversation without necessary support or information
> Siding with a parent to appease them
> Attributing blame to any party at this stage
> Letting your own emotions get the better of you
> Not giving the parent the opportunity to talk/not listening to the parent
> Promising something you cant deliver
> Not following up (in a timely manner)
strategies for success
> Take every opportunity to build positive relationships with students and parents
> Do your homework so you can anticipate and deescalate before situations arise (pre-emptive strike)
> Get in contact early, make sure you keep colleagues in the loop
> Be pleasant no matter what
> Calm & consistent
> Create a win/win
> Patience
> Listen
> Ask questions
> Give them suggestions of routes forwards
> Reflect on mistakes that have been made and learn from them
> Find opportunities to follow up, e.g. excuse to call home about something else
> Be moderate in expectations, i.e. what does success look like
> Accept when you are dealing with an unreasonable person, you cant win them all!
> Do your homework so you can anticipate and deescalate before situations arise (pre-emptive strike)
> Get in contact early, make sure you keep colleagues in the loop
> Be pleasant no matter what
> Calm & consistent
> Create a win/win
> Patience
> Listen
> Ask questions
> Give them suggestions of routes forwards
> Reflect on mistakes that have been made and learn from them
> Find opportunities to follow up, e.g. excuse to call home about something else
> Be moderate in expectations, i.e. what does success look like
> Accept when you are dealing with an unreasonable person, you cant win them all!
To conclude, there is no magic bullet when it comes to conversations with challenging parents. Success comes through incorporating a range of strategies into everyday practice, being pro active to avoid unnecessary conflict, and being reflective when it does occur. Experience is only beneficial when you learn from it and adjust your practice accordingly!
Opportunity to describe situations that have got the better of us that we would like advice with
Opportunity for staff to discuss and strategies not yet mentioned that have worked for them
Opportunity for staff to discuss and strategies not yet mentioned that have worked for them